I’m sure I am not the only person in this world that reads all the confidence tips and studies all the confidence boosters she can get her hands on. I know that every single person wants to be fiercely confident. In truth, there is no real rule book for “how to be a confident woman”.
So, I can’t wave a magic wand for you. But, I do know that being a confident woman is not reserved for the few. I want to show you how you can do it too!
I’m sure I am not the only person in this world that reads all the confidence tips and studies all the confidence boosters she can get her hands on. I know that every single person wants to be fiercely confident. In truth, there is no real rule book for “how to be a confident woman”. So, I can’t wave a magic wand for you. But, I do know that being a confident woman is not reserved for the few. I want to show you how you can do it too!
Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not. You can read my full disclaimer here.
Despite having been writing blog posts here, there and everywhere for many years, I’m new to this game. I’m new to writing for business, I’m new to trying to create strategies traffic. And I’m new to creating products and content that YOU want. I’m just new!
Over the past week or so, I’ve been hanging out with other bloggers (mostly female) in various Facebook groups. I’ve been in awe of how successful some of these women are. I’m talking crazy, bow down to my feet successful.
When people meet successful people, either we get intimidated and scared, then run away and stick to the day job. Or we can appreciate the work and get inspired to do it ourselves. For the later, we have to embrace the fear and become a fiercely confident woman (or man).
A fiercely confident woman doesn’t need to compare
Last August, I had a weekend to myself and, out of the blue, I created what is now my 30-Days to Confidence Guided Journal. Creating products was not what I did. Sure, I was a motivational speaker, and have a lot of life experiences and knowledge. But this, right here, is not what I did.
I had to learn new skills and open my mind to new ways of thinking. Of course, one of the best ways to learn is to learn from what others are doing. This is important to get a handle on things and to gain ideas of what you could do (this is true of everything). But, it is equally important not to fall into the comparison trap.
I have caught myself looking at other blogs and businesses, thinking, “I’m terrible compared to this”. I’m not terrible; just new! I’m not terrible; just different. The thing is, I am a confident woman. But even I fall into the trap. We all do, I think. But sometimes we need to come up with an action plan to break out of our comfort zones, become strong confident women, and take on the world.
This leads me nicely on to the first of my five ways to be a fiercely confident woman.
how to be a confident woman
1. Be Authentic
Ever wondered how to recognise a confident woman? Well, if she can truly be herself and not really care what others think, she’s on her way!
Whatever we decide to do in life, there will be times when we find ourselves comparing our lives to others’. It is understandable, to a point. But we will never be like anyone else, nor it is advisable to try to be. There is a reason we all look different.
There is a reason we all have different tastes.
And, of course, there is a reason we all have different personalities. Every single person on this planet has different life experiences.
Yes, you might have done the same things as lots of other people. But not one of them will experience it in the same way you have.
Trying to fit in or trying to be like other people can be hard work. If you’re not authentically you, you’re likely to be wasting time and energy.
Be proud of who you are and tackle everything life throws at you in a way that suits YOU best.
2. Be Unapologetic
By society’s standards, I am a severely disabled woman. By my standards, I am a woman who happens to be disabled. See the difference?
I use a wheelchair because my walking sucks and makes me look drunk. And I have a loud voice that not everyone can understand straight away. I’m 32 and already have a few grey hairs (I blame my husband for this one). I wear odd socks and I don’t drink hot drinks. Sometimes I run (ha, I don’t run anywhere!) to the shop in jogging bottoms, with panda eyes from yesterday’s makeup. I am a confident woman, determined to make all my crazy ideas work.
Do I apologise for any of this? Absolutely not. By themselves none of the above define me. But they do help to make me ME. Never apologise for who you are or what you do that makes you YOU. Unless, of course, you rock up to a job interview with filthy trainers. Just saying!
3. Own your ideas with confidence
At the beginning of the year, I read Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I loved it, but there was one concept that she introduced that stood out the most. Gilbert believes that ideas float around waiting for people to grab hold of them and use them. She said that ideas will introduce themselves to people, but if we are too busy to notice or dismiss them, they will simply leave to go and find someone else.
I believe that ideas occur to us for a reason. We are unlikely to get an idea that we are incapable of putting forward or carrying out.
Never be afraid to explore new ideas. You might find they are not for you now, but you’ll never know if you don’t explore.
If someone asks you for your opinion, they are asking for a reason. Never be afraid to speak up.
4. Take 100% responsibility for your life
I think I could have divided this one into two or three, but I don’t want you to get bored, so I’ve tried to merge it into one.
Life happens. Fact. But it is not so much what happens that is important. What’s important is how you react to it. For example, missing your train may compel you to think something like “why does this always happen to me?” or “why today?” … Well, why not? Taking responsibility for what happens will make you more likely to ensure that you do everything you can to live your best life possible.
To give you another example, you might feel like you’ve had an awful day at work. It happens, it’s a horrible feeling. But if you want to feel better, it is your responsibility to take a step back. Look at the day from a distance. Was it really that bad? Or did the way you reacted to it make it feel worse?
It might not sound like this one could help you feel more confident, but trust me. Try it out and see how it feels.
5. Allow yourself to Look after yourself
Nothing I’ve said up to here will make any difference if you do not look after yourself. Giving yourself permission to stop, breathe and relax is one of the most important things anyone can do
Sometimes we can feel guilty if we take time out for ourselves or say no to things. But if you can have the confidence to do this, life becomes much more bearable. You’ll also be able to focus more and feel fresher and healthier.
Disclosure: If you purchase anything from links in this post or any other, I may receive some kind of affiliate commission. However, I only ever mention products I love and would recommend whether I was being compensated or not. You can read my full disclaimer here.
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