How To Use Grief Journaling as a Tool for Coping

Grief has a habit of catching you off guard. You’ll be fine for weeks, then a receipt falls out of an old coat pocket, or a song comes on in the supermarket, and suddenly you’re back at square one, standing in the cereal aisle trying not to cry.

There’s no fixing that, and this post won’t try to. What journaling can do is give all of that somewhere to go: the memories you want to hold onto, the things you never got to say, the days that feel harder than they should for no obvious reason.

Here’s what I’ll cover: why journaling actually helps during grief (there’s proper research behind it, not just a nice idea), two different ways to approach it depending on what a particular day calls for, and how to set your journal up so it’s easy to reach for when you need it most.

How Journaling Helps You Hold Space for Grief

If you’ve experienced any form of grief, you’ll know that it is rarely simple. It doesn’t move in straight lines or follow predictable timelines, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone. For some, it’s a heaviness that comes with the loss of a loved one. For others, it may be bewilderment or anger tied to the end of a relationship, a significant life transition, or a shift in identity, health, or circumstance.

Each time we experience grief, it can feel totally different. Sometimes it’s overwhelming and confusing; at other times, it feels isolating. In the midst of that, finding ways to process what you are experiencing can seem like another challenge entirely.

What journaling offers is an accessible place to begin. To identify and give space to your feelings and thoughts.

Grief journaling, in particular, focuses on allowing yourself space without judgment. And that’s incredibly important. To have space to let what you are feeling spill out onto the page, contradictory, messy or otherwise, with no audience, no expectation, and no need to explain yourself.

In that journaling space, you can often find an emotional release, helping you move some of that weight. You know that heaviness that deep emotions can bring. And while it doesn’t force clarity, it’s often something you experience as a result. Seeing your thoughts in front of you can make them feel more manageable, if that makes sense.

The Sciency Bit That Backs The Theory of Grief Journaling

We first talked about the revolutionary work of psychologist Dr James Pennebaker and his team in a blog I wrote about using a journal to find a more mindful and reflective approach to life, and then again when I wrote about journaling to improve your sleep, and how that research proves that journaling is an effective tool for many aspects of mental health and its associated physiological symptoms.

That same research has been used to examine the benefits of grief journaling.

What they have found so far is a data-driven correlation between a person’s ability to process and sit with their emotions for long enough during a writing session to find some relief. And that relief they find isn’t just mentally supportive; it also positively affects how our bodies respond to grief.

It is an amazing body of work that changed the way scientists and doctors think about therapies. The BBC covered it in an episode of Mind Changers (Radio 4, 12 Apr 2013), which I recommend listening to if you have some time.

Another study by Lee CE et al. (2025) specifically examined online journaling for Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD). It concluded that “guided reflection on memories of the deceased, and even on negative or emotionally challenging memories, shows potential for reducing symptoms of PGD.” 44 open-ended writing prompts were used to guide this study cohort.

Journaling as a Companion Through Grief

There are lots of different ways to journal as a coping mechanism, especially through grief, and they are designed to help you honour your memories if you want to, say things that were left unsaid, or let go when you need to.

That’s really important because, although grief is often described in stages, in reality it’s rarely linear, as I said. Emotions can come and go, overlap, or return when you least expect them.

Grief journaling is designed to meet you where you are. It has no expectations for what your journey should look like or when you should feel differently. In moments of shock or disbelief, it can offer a grounding outlet. During periods of anger or confusion, it provides a safe place to find release. And in quieter moments, it can support reflection or help you make sense of what’s changed.

Two Different Ways to Journal Through Grief

I could rattle off several different types of journaling that might be helpful here; I’m sure many do, but if I’m honest, when you are grieving, what you really want is ‘simple’. And simple comes down to two things: either using exercises to give you some structure for how you want to write, or using prompts that focus solely on a moment, tapping directly into what you feel right now (great for when you don’t know how to or don’t want to write in a structured way).

With that in mind, I’ve created two guides:

1. 4 Grief Journaling Exercises: Designed to help you explore what you feel and process your loss over time.
2. 35 Grief Journal Prompts for Processing Loss: Designed to meet you in a singular moment and help you put into words what you are feeling.

An example of an exercise is letter writing. Using your journal to write letters to yourself or the person or thing (identity, job, or something else) you have lost and want to connect with. This can be incredibly therapeutic in many ways, helping you find space for what you want to say, what you might want to honour and even what you might be most sad to have lost.

An example of a prompt is “If I could describe today’s grief in three words, what would they be?” or “How can I be kinder to myself in this moment?” Both are anchored to a specific moment, helping you explore what you are feeling or how you might handle those emotions or sensations.

You could focus on one path or try both, switching between them as needed. The idea is that you are giving yourself a set of tools. Companion tools. Things you can actively try to help you through your grief journey, whether you are having a good or a bad day.

Making Your Grief Journal Feel Accessible

As with any tool, your grief journal works best for you when it’s easily accessible. That’s both in how easy it is to pick up and how easy it is to get started.

Physical accessibility comes down to things like journal size. How easy is your journal to take with you (if you want to), and how does its size affect your willingness to pick it up and use it? You might have an immediate answer to that if you are used to journaling in other aspects of your life, but if you haven’t, it’s something to consider. The better the experience feels, the easier it will be to start writing. And to want to start writing. Same with the pen you use.

Place and space are also worth thinking about. Where are you going to spend time writing your journal, in your bedroom? On the sofa? Making your space easy to get comfortable, with everything you need, means you’ll be able to focus for an extended period, whether that’s 10 minutes or an hour.

Accessibility could also describe how easy it is to get writing. Bookmarking or copying out some of my earlier suggested exercises and prompts, and using them as an appendix in your journal, could be really helpful. Think about what your aim might be from a session, and what Plan B might look like if you aren’t feeling up to Plan A.

Finally, there’s accessibility in how you choose to fill your page. And by that I mean how you choose to write, bullet point, doodle, or create your journal entry.

For example, there will be moments when you are short on time. Rather than miss an important journal session and something that you find therapeutic, think about how you could condense your session to fit it in. Bullet points might be the answer.

Equally, you might be on a train and feel the need for some time with your journal. Rather than write about what you are feeling, you could draw it, keeping it cryptic for anyone who might catch a glimpse of your page.

Setting Realistic Expectations

It’s important to approach grief journaling with a sense of realism and self-compassion, just as you would with any other type of journaling experience.

Journaling sessions won’t always bring clarity, and they won’t replace the need for connection or support. But it is a companion tool. Something that can work alongside many other supportive processes, groups or therapies.

So if you are finding your experience tough going, please reach out to your family, friends, and/or GP for support, and keep your journal entries flowing where they work with that support.

Consistency in Journaling Through Your Grief

I think most journalers would say that journaling regularly can be really helpful, and maybe more so in moments where you are experiencing something difficult, like grief. But the word ‘regularly’ often feels like it suggests you should be journaling every day. I don’t think that’s necessarily what you are looking for here. It’d be much more appropriate to say, “When the feeling strikes, reach for your journal.”

You might find that you start journaling weekly, but then find days when you really feel like you could pour your heart into an extra page or two. Go with that. Allowing your journaling practice to meet you where and when you need it is important.

Equally, you might start journaling daily, but then slow your cadence to once a week or even a month. Again, this is perfectly fine. Consistency is about reaching for the tool that helps you when you need it. That’s where you’ll feel the most benefit.

What to Include in Your Grief Journal

Starting a grief journal can leave you asking, “What should I include?” If you find yourself in that space, here are some ideas:

• Memories: Talk about what you remember and how it made you feel or makes you feel.
• Your emotional and physical feelings: Sometimes, the hardest part of grief is that we aren’t sure what or why we feel what we do. Exploring that in your journal entries can really help you make peace, work on aspects of yourself or let go.
• What you’ve learned and your optimism for the future: It can feel hard to move on, but inevitably, we do. And that doesn’t mean forgetting; instead, it’s about the passage of time and how we approach it. At some point, we will feel a little lighter or have a better understanding of our experience. Honouring what you have been through and what you’ve lost is in understanding what you’ve learned and what you can go on to build.

And What to Avoid

The first and most critical thing to avoid is writing or working through things that make you feel heavier. Yes, there will be moments of ‘heaviness’ when you write, but these shouldn’t be the outcome of every journaling session. So if something feels too heavy, either leave the entry there or switch your focus. Pick a lighter prompt or try a different exercise.

The same goes for editing or judging what you’ve created. This isn’t a space for that. It’s about emotional release and how releasing what you feel can provide relief.

So, if you feel like you might be someone who obsesses or overthinks, make it a rule to turn the page after each session (maybe even seal it if you need to), take a deep breath, and walk away.

Grief Journaling Helps You Find Relief and Understanding

Grief journaling won’t sort your grief out for you, and it’s not supposed to. What it does is give you somewhere to put it down instead of carrying all of it round in your head.

Some days that’ll be a memory you want to write down properly. Other days it’ll be two lines about why today felt heavier than yesterday, and that’s just as worthwhile.

If you’re not sure where to begin, pick one thing and try it today: either a letter to whoever or whatever you’ve lost, or one prompt from the list above. Give it five minutes and don’t reread it straight after.